Is Being Late Rude? It Depends on Where You Are

Vocabulary

Rude – Not polite; showing a lack of respect for other people.

Example – In some places, it is rude to keep a friend waiting for an hour.

Culture – The ideas, habits, and ways of life of a group of people.

Example – In my culture, people often arrive a little late to dinner parties.

Appointment – A planned time to meet someone, such as a doctor or a teacher.

Example – I have a dentist appointment at ten o’clock.

Expect – To think that something will happen.

Example – My boss expects everyone to be on time for the morning meeting.

Deadline – The last time or date when something must be finished.

Example – The deadline for the report is Friday afternoon.

Article

You have a meeting at nine o’clock. You arrive at 9:15. Is that a problem? The answer depends on where you are. In some places, 15 minutes late is rude. In other places, it is normal. Being late does not mean the same thing everywhere in the world.

An American anthropologist named Edward Hall talked about two ways of seeing time. The first is called monochronic. In these cultures, people do one thing at a time. They make clear plans, and they treat deadlines as very important. A schedule is like a promise. Experts often give the United States, Norway, and Switzerland as examples.

The second way is called polychronic. In these cultures, people often do many things at the same time. Relationships are very important. If you meet a friend on the street and start talking, it is fine to be a little late for your next plan. Schedules can change. Experts often give China, Egypt, and India as examples.

Of course, these are big ideas, and they are not perfect. Most people and most places are somewhere in the middle. Work can be different from social life, too. A person may arrive on time for a business meeting and 30 minutes late for a birthday party.

Researchers have also tested this idea. In 2020, Wendelien van Eerde and Sana Azar published a study in the journal Cross-Cultural Research. They asked workers in three countries about being late: the Netherlands, South Africa, and Pakistan. They asked how many minutes of lateness are okay for different appointments.

The answers were interesting. People in Pakistan said that about 19 minutes late was acceptable on average. In South Africa, the average was about 11 minutes. In the Netherlands, it was about 9 minutes. So the Dutch group was the least relaxed about lateness, and the Pakistani group was the most relaxed.

The study also looked at status. In South Africa and Pakistan, people were ready to wait longer for someone with a higher position, such as a boss. In the Netherlands, people did not make this difference. They expected everyone to arrive on time, no matter their job.

Lateness can also change the way we feel about a person. In a clock-time culture, a late person may seem careless or not interested. The one who waits may feel that their own time is not important. In an event-time culture, the same late person may seem busy, popular, or simply human. The words are the same, “I am sorry I am late,” but the feeling behind them can be very different. This is why small problems at work can start when people from two cultures meet.

Think about a team with people from many countries. One person comes five minutes early to every call. Another person joins five minutes late and is still happy. Neither person is trying to be rude. They are only following the rules they learned when they were young. When the team talks about these rules, the problem often becomes much smaller.

There was one more surprise. People in Pakistan were not always relaxed about their own lateness. If they were late and other people were not there yet, they felt more worried about it. For many of them, the important question was not “What time is it?” but “Who is already here?” This shows that time rules can depend on people, not only on the clock.

The researchers also say we should be careful with the results. The groups were small, and the people were mostly young and well educated. The study also found more similarities than differences among the three countries. So we cannot say that everyone in a country thinks the same way.

What can you do if you travel or work with people from other cultures? Here are three simple ideas. First, ask. A message like “Should we start exactly at nine?” is polite and clear. Second, watch what other people do. Third, if you will be late, tell people early. This is helpful in almost every culture.

Time may seem simple, but it is full of culture. The clock says the same thing everywhere, but people do not always agree about what it means.

Discussion

How many minutes late is okay for a meeting with a friend in your country?

Is it different when you meet your boss, your teacher, or an older person? Why?

Tell me about a time when you waited a long time for someone. How did you feel?

Have you ever been the late person in a group? What happened?

Do you think people in your country are more like monochronic or polychronic? Why?

What would you say to a visitor who does not know your country’s rules about time?

Sources

I Am Expat: How Time Differs across Cultures

Cross-Cultural Research: Too Late? What Do You Mean? Cultural Norms Regarding Lateness for Meetings and Appointments